It's funny how...

It's funny how things aren't always what they seem to be. Reality is often one's perception of how things are instead of what truly is. Someone can seem normal and then really be a pathological liar and one of the worst humans you have had the displeasure of meeting. Sometimes you can wish things into existence. If you think about something hard enough, you may be perceiving your wishes instead of what is really happening. What you think is happening is only what you want to happen and not what is truly happening. This can be a problem in relationships. You can't project what you want to happen on another person. It is hard to make another person do anything. In the end, he or she is his or her own person with distinct desires, hopes, and dreams that may or may not be yours. To expect people to act as you would or how you think they should only ends in disappointment or one day realizing that people aren't who you thought they were all along.

I watched Reign Over Me this weekend. I admit that I was not a big fan of Adam Sandler playing serious roles; he is one of my favorite actors. However, he did a good job. The movie spoke a lot of truth about grief. People grieve in their own ways. Some people stay in certain grief stages longer than others. You cannot force a person to grieve the way you want them to. Two people in the movie represented what most people do when someone is grieving - they expected Charlie to grieve just like they did, but this is not how it really happens. Trying to force someone to behave a certain way in their grief process is not fair. You can tell someone that you are there for them, but you cannot force them to talk. Just because they do not talk about it does not mean they do not think of it every day or relive the tragic event. However, one day, they might talk about it in the most random way at the most random time. The words will come out like vomit, and so will tears probably. Then, there is some cathartic release. You should try to listen and not force your advice down their throat. For someone to say that they understand how you feel when in fact they have never been in the same situation can often evoke anger. Just listen when they choose to talk. You don't have to do anything else. People grieve in their own time and their own ways, which may or may not be your own.