salvaging some stuff from the hurricane

I had two boxes of stuff I tried to salvage from the house after the hurricane. I haven't been able to go through it until today. Why today? I don't know. Maybe I was procrastinating something. I took it with me through two moves since then, and today I felt the urge to try to do something about it. It full of things I couldn't bear to throw away. I've realized that I measured my self worth too much on what I did. Straight A's or being valedictorian of my high school class had been my focus too much of my life. When I walked into the house after the water subsided, the first thing I saw was a certificate of mine stuck to the floor that had floated from my room into the living room. It was at that point that I had such a sense of despair. I just wanted to throw it all away and forget it ever happened. It seemed like there was no hope in my life that day. I felt as if it was the end of the world because it was the end of my world as it had always been. My support system had broken underneath me. I knew that I had to stand on my own from here on out because anybody that could have been there for me was too busy with their own problems.

I admit I'm really sensitive about the whole situation. Don't show me baby pictures right now. I get mad about mine that can never be replaced. I look at my destroyed Baby Book, and all I can do is sigh because there's no way something like that can be replaced. Few things bring more emotions to me than this hurricane. I get angry. I get sad. I get nostalgic about the way things used to be. I get confused about why it had to happen. I mourn the loss of people and pets I cared about that are no longer here. Maybe in time I will understand what good this event brought. It is hard to think of any reason right now.

I'm trying to contact yearbook companies to see if I can reorder them, since mine were pretty much obliterated. If anybody has had success in this area, let me know. I made a few phone class. We'll see what they say.

I did find one thing that made me smile. It was something I made in kindergarden. It was laminated, so it was salvageable. It was a crayon rendition of a rainbow, and it said, "You have a choice...you an stay under a cloud or get busy, And find your RAINBOW." I guess I found the answer I was looking for in my box, after all...