Friday, August 16, 2019

A Call for a Return to Civility

I've seen an alarming trend on social media and just in society lately. People seemed to have forgotten how to treat each other later. It is as if those fundamental social skills that were developed and practiced in kindergarten have been forgotten.

Some people just want to get on social media to argue. I would like to believe that social media is a place you can share pictures of what is going on in your life without people tearing you down at every turn, but this is simply not the case.

I have severely limited what I share because I do not want to open it up for argument. I really do not enjoy arguing. This the exact reason I did not go to law school. And I took the LSAT and came close to enrolling. But I digress.

I guess some people just like arguing and trying to bring other people down. Count me out.

Life is hard. Why do we have to make it even harder with all this negativity?

I have never seen one person's opinion ever changed from a Facebook post or argument. It really is a waste of time.

And how about instead of just sharing memes, you get out and volunteer for the causes about which you care? That's where the real change happens. It is not on social media. Your likes on your posts do not elicit real social change.

Here's something else that we have seemed to have forgotten. Yeah, there are in and out groups. The groups you are part of (or identify with) are your in groups and the "others" are your out groups. BUT those out groups are not the devil.

Acting like people that disagree with you are abhorrent is just polarizing the country.

Do we, as a country, need to do this class activity to realize we share common ground?

As a society, it seems like we demonize the others. Just because someone is different, does not make that person bad.

Just because someone votes for a candidate does not mean they agree with everything that politician does or believes. They simply cast a vote. They exercised a fundamental American right. It was their choice in that moment, and that does not mean that person 100% supports that candidate every day. Just because someone votes for a person you view as "bad" does not make that person "bad." You are simply putting that person in one of your out groups and distancing yourself.

It is okay to be different. In fact, you can still be friends with people that are different from yourself.

My best friend and I are quite different.

We do not vote the same.
We have different religious views.
She's on the taller end of the spectrum for women. I am on the lower end.
She is much more tan than me.
She is from the north. I am from the Deep South.
She has been married, and I, until very recently, have not.
She has two kids. I am child free at the moment.
She lives in the most affluent county in her state. I have lived in two of the poorest states of the country.

We are just different. We have had different life experiences. We have polar opposite views.

Yet, we have been best friends for over a decade.

You know why?

We practice civility. At the core of it all, despite our differences, we care about each other.

We celebrate each other's successes. We want each other to thrive.

Do I begrudge the fact that she volunteers on political campaigns that are opposite from how I vote? No. I am happy that she practices her American rights and is civically active. And vice versa.

Does she throw a fit when I work on campaigns for the opposite party? No. She asks me questions about my day. We plan our next trip to see each other.

It can happen. I have proof of it in my life.

Where has all the civility gone in American society?

Can we bring it back, please?

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